The Pent Umbrage of the Tempy, Part XXXIII

You prize off the grill. Dang… Look at this thang. It is exquisite. The fit with the wall is so flush—no air is sucked under the outside of the metal. All the air sucked is through the louvers. Look at these louvers: these things were crafted. Craft beyond craft meaning beyond science and art, the combination of science and art. There’s no way to calculate air pressure in your office instantaneously so as to get the angle of the louvers satisfactory for all conditions: a compromise had to be struck. But these louvers do not appear to be the result of a compromise. They are precise—to what specification? You do not know.

You could imagine the much-vaunted computer technology to be applied to the louvers: these could be “smart” louvers. Louvers able to respond to the conditions in your office to modify the angle, the thickness, the hardness, the aerodynamic qualities of your louvers, so that no matter the relative humidity, the temperature, the chemical composition of the ambient air of your office, flow through the louvers into the air ducts will be laminar, ( not turbulent, not turbulent, not turbulent.)You've looked long and hard at the louvers and the surrounding areas of your office: computer and sensor technology have not been utilized.

You are surprised you are allowed to “get into the louvers” or “get into the ducts”. You were able to “get into them” through your weakness: the desire to catch a smoke during the working hours, without leaving the building. You watched the smoke of your cigars disappear inconsequential, silently conspiratorial, into the willing opening of the grill and ducts of perfection, smoothed so nice and convenient for your weakness, as if the building was predisposed to tolerate personal weaknesses such as yours.