Thursday, March 31, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part VI

Itwethey is waiting in a cabin in a forest. The forest is dark, and inside the cabin it is even darker, but light comes through two windows, facing south. The two windows seem like two eyes, and inside the cabin, it feels like the inside of a skull. Itwethey has the feeling of being inside another skull, peering out two eyes, into the inside of a skull which is the one room of the cabin, and out through the two window-eyes, out into the world, the visible.

Only Itwethey knows the cabin is there. (So far, Itwethey is the only person who has seen or been in the cabin.) It is hidden very carefully. To get to the cabin, there is only a narrow footpath through the woods; only Itwethey’s feet have been on this path, formed by Itwethey’s feet going back and forth. (There are a few windfalls here and there blocking the path.)

It is here and in this way Itwethey waits for guest, and thus guest can't know Itwethey waits for guest. Guest cannot know guest will be guest. Guest has no idea (Itwethey’s idea.) Guest must stumble into function and role of guest by stumbling upon Itwethey. Come unbidden. Come not knowing coming. Going not realizing going. Not knowing coming as guest. Not wanting, maybe, to be among people, to be greeted, to be welcomed, to be guest. In the woods, maybe and probably, to “get away,” to avoid or be reprieved of functions and roles, demands.

Itwethey, on the other hand, anticipates guest. Prepares for guest. Waits to be shattered by guest. Waits to shatter guest? Guest, no doubt, will be terrified. Itwethey’s unexpected hospitality may scare guest to death. However, it’s also quite possible guest will find Itwethey while lost, while somewhat desperate, or perhaps merely concerned and tired. Or, guest could be coming up path (though narrow and unmarked, the path isn’t disguised, camouflaged, or impossible to strike upon), curious and idle, wandering…The dark forest is beautiful and to a certain type or frame of mind, plenty inviting…Itwethey’s dark forest invitation is Itwethey’s perfectly-tailored invitational outvitalisteionale.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part V

Fished up hope has come unbidden. Guest has come unbidden.

Fished up hope has been bid welcome, but not in the same way as guest.

Some kind of somber water: placid, too grey, too unsullied, too unmoving, too reflective, as unmoving grey water often is— (water can sparkle, moving or not, but too slowly the water moves means grey, more than not) -- Itwethey had in mind a beautiful greening greeting for a guest, not anything to do with a water quality report. Itwethey is not indifferent to water quality reports…. If water quality report would help Itwethey treat guest with utmost consideration from moment of encounter…Is such to be expected? Had Itwethey towed the narrow line where he would have encountered guest without understanding anything of guests’ waters? Such is the torture of Itwethey: that would from water come all but nothing of knowledge of water. From water quality report? It is all unbidden.

Itwethey feels panic from all this unbidden. The surface is a mirror and the depths are nothing beneath a perfectly silvered mirror. The mirror wasn’t all that threatening. True, mirror hadn’t been bidden, either. Unruffled water could have been happy in grey forever. Itwethey knows it would be interesting to know if the surface can be ruffled in such a way as to reveal everything of the depths. Itwethey never said anything about conceptualizing that as “encounter”. Ore or “concepts” coming into the situation, to be mined or minded. That’d be to be desired, because it would condense a lot of space into a little. But why would anyone want (desire) to condense a lot of space into a little? Itwethey knows he didn’t want such a thing when he was (little, slow, had learned nothing? ((NB: when we had learned nothing we learned everything, very fast.))

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part IV

Itwethey’s reception of guest’s smile, which welcomes Itwethey’s welcome, fishes up Itwethey’s hope (silver as a herring) for successful welcome and understanding of guest, from the very moment of encounter, from out of Itwethey’s dark watery interior living room (like a pond, a lake, a sea, or an ocean) to glint against the threshold where Itwethey and guest now stand squeezed together. Though adding to the crowd there, Fished up hope relieves the squeeze in both Itwethey and guest, simultaneously.

Itwethey’s interior living space, watery but not fluid, (because it is frozen? Because it is compressed?) circulating and recirculating, (“recirculating” is a more perfect word because it illustrates what it also names) as if it could all be known, charted, explored, navigated, measured, taken into account, registered minutely through GPS and digital photograph from satellite, craves for these rare fish such as Fished up hope, to splash or better—pirouette—(pirouette is the movement of hope)—as something which can cut the law-engendered force of recirculation –just so. Oh! For the just so which is not law-engendered. To see it splash, silver, against the dark depths background of pond, lake, sea or ocean (contained water all. Fluid but not fluid of runneth over.)

Guest’s smile welcoming up hope silver as herring –Itwethey suddenly surprisingly suspects guest’s smile is Fished up hope. Smile is Fished up hope! (They’ve copulated!) Itwethey stammers hope as something from Itwethey’s living room interior, but if Fished up hope also comes from outside, “across the pond,” well, woo-hoo-woo-hoo! This is welcomed by Itwethey as revelation is welcomed, as revelation is welcomed by thin, crimped anchorite anchored twenty fathoms low, in dark ponded impounded lake lacking ocean water but not salt of the earth.

With that happy reassuring thought, Itwethey beckons guest off threshold and on down into dark watery depths of Itwethey. Guest smile no longer silver, as off threshold, guest reflects no sun. Smile gone, too. Day is done, gone the sun, gone the smile, gone the hope? Itwethey recovers from memories seared—guest is yet on the stoop, still a silhouette, still possessed of silvery welcoming smile. Still a silhouette possessed of silvery smile. That was a close one! Theory of welcome almost engulfed all practice of it, which could have extinguished all of it.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part III

Itwethey looks (quickly and yet slowly: a sudden glance but the registered brief image burns Itwethey’s memory to remain concentrated therein for 356.323X longer than the glance itself) upon guest, so humble, as guests often are, unsure of entry, though sure entry is desired. A pleasing smile, hoping to please, an entry entered into Itwethey’s memoric images, the sun burning brightly behind.

Itwethey returns guest’s smile. To guest’s smile, Itwethey’s smile says, “welcome.” The rest of the guest, against the burning backdrop of the sun, is silhouette: Itwethey cannot distinguish a single feature. The silhouette indicates neither great height or weight—but though dark and fuzzy (except for the bright, pleasing smile) and a colorful penumbra against that—and then the leaping sun all over everything else—Itwethey is assured any misplaced confidence in guest’s good intentions are to be poetic, or failing that, will provide a narrative to be used later…In a joke, perhaps.

Itwethey is aware the stoop is insecure—it may even be propped without being nailed, against the front of the house. Itwethey remembers something about being distracted many days in effort to determine a curvature of the rises that he may not have had time to fully think out how best to make home and stoop into a unity. The curvature was important; getting in and out of the house was the afterthought. Getting in and out of the house hadn't been a problem, either. That’d been at least two years ago that Itwethey had been coming in and out of home, going up and down stoop, without a crisis, no problem: guest wouldn’t be smiling brightly if crisis loomed,or stoop were teetering, either.

With that happy reassuring thought, Itwethey beckons guest off stoop onto threshold where Itwethey reaches out bare bear hug and hearty slaps for the back de la guest. Sheer animal barbarity sweating stinking force of Itwethey’s body, including breath coming from a lifetime of shit-eating is at this moment the one thing guest has to latch onto. Guest surges into Itwethey’s welcome, an ocean of sun, a sun ocean welcoming the welcome, letting loose tides, pirouettes, and forsaking all of that which hindered welcome just moments before ( guises? Disguises?).

Friday, March 25, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part II

Itwethey says, “welcome.”

There is no understanding (fast or slow)—of Guest. For Itwethey, Guest is entirely unknown and unanticipated in any specificity or particularity. (“Guest” is a purely formal (or general?) designation. The specificity of Guest is that Guest is and must be (to be Guest) purely unknown and unanticipated…Known to be unknown and anticipated to be unanticipated (unanticipatable?) Itwethey means for Guest to be understood as different to anything Itwethey previously had known or experienced in any way. This does not however require Guest to be ENTIRELY different (Itwethey expects Guest to be a human similar to other humans, with similar needs, wants, desires, hopes) but in the specificity of some array of “minor” differences (little things which are entirely out of any of Itwethey’s prior frames of reference) EVERYTHING will be encountered DIFFERENTLY. Because Itwethey anticipates EVERYTHING will be different, Itwethey anticipates not being ABLE to understand Guest. Itwethey will not be able to understand Guest, and yet Itwethey, in order to host Guest, must establish understanding. To cope, Itwethey’s strategy will be to feign understanding. Itwethey is poised to act (act—as “to feign”, “to put on a disguise”)(is it not odd that the same infinitive “to act” means for us both what is most naked and unpremeditated AND what is most disguised and artificial) (quickly as possible) understanding, no matter how strangely, unusually, unexpectedly, Guest may, in specificity or particularity, behave. (Itwethey honestly believes Itwethey CAN convincingly and concordantly behave in such manner. Itwethey purposely excludes the circumstance of Itwethey being stumped as to what understanding would be in certain conditions of Guest behaving, e.g. Guest behaving belligerently, threateningly, more as intruder than Guest—in which case Itwethey’s pose of understanding would be shattered.) Thus, the part of the “welcome” Itwethey says which is composed of “understanding” Itwethey understands to be purely sympathetic. (Therefore, let it be noted Part II may modify Part I in that in Part I Itwethey used (or at least implied) “understanding”and “sympathy” as if they were synonymous. It matters to this inquiry and the success of Itwethey’s “welcome” which approach is better—Part I or Part II.) Itwethey will treat Guest with sympathetic consideration absent understanding of Guest (or of what makes Guest be Guest, this mysterious array of minor differences Itwethey anticipates in Guest.)

With this new understanding that the understanding Itwethey will offer as host to Guest is the “understanding” of sympathy, (or just plain sympathy) Itwethey will now help Guest, standing at the threshold, on the rickety stoop Itwethey had studiously and yet incompetently constructed, Guest looking bewildered and rather “thrown” (which fortunately doesn’t look much like belligerence, so perhaps the worst case scenario will be avoided!) as if some magnetic wind of continent shifting had bequeathed Guest to this not so much hallowed as hollowed spot, enter into the hospitality Itwethey has worked a lifetime to create (true—but it doesn’t lessen the fear a lifetime of effort may yield a resultant hospitality as shoddy and incompetent as the stoop upon which Guest happens up…) Nevertheless, and in spite of the discomfort of both squeezing onto the threshold above the last of the stoop’s steps, Guest appears delighted with Itwethey’s “welcome.” Itwethey and Guest make contact, and the contact is more satisfying than any Itwethey imagined during rehearsed “welcomes.”

The rehearsals had always been too formal—entirely formal, in fact. How could Itwethey have practice responses of sympathy to a Guest unknown, unanticipated—and not present? Sympathy has no formal qualities (hypothetically.) It is for “understanding” to be formal. Itwethey’s “formal” sympathy was thus simulated by Itwethey as a sheer animal barbarity sweating stinking force of body, meant to infuse the formal gestures of Itwethey’s practices of greeting with sympathy and thereby sympathetically synthesize what Itwethey wishes for, an adequate “welcoming” of Guest. As Itwethey had put it so often afterwards, (smoking and drinking) (which is part of this symbolism Itwethey uses to simulate sympathy when understanding is unavailable and the object of sympathy is also unavailable—though ne’er has Itwethey known any who found Itwethey endearing when smoking and drinking nor Itwethey staggering sweating stinking drunk (and this has got to factor in and matter)), “My shit-eating grin, my cologne, the bright colors of the interior of my living room (Itwethey here attempts to indicate, through contortions, winks, elbow waves, hands let loose at the wrist, pirouettes, and other guises (NB: guises, not disguises)) Itwethey’s “welcome” of not only this Guest but all guests, into Itwethey’s “interior” and Itwethey’s “living room” and Itwethey’s “interior living room.”

Friday, March 04, 2011

Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part I

Itwethey has learned(very slowly) there is no understanding or sympathy between host and guest unless Guest is treated with utmost consideration by the host from the very moment of encounter.

With this new understanding, Itwethey will now help Guest, standing at the threshold, on the rickety stoop Itwethey had studiously and yet incompetently constructed, Guest looking bewildered and rather “thrown”, as if some magnetic wind of continental shifting had bequeathed Guest to this not so much hallowed as hollowed spot, enter into the hospitality Itwethey has worked a lifetime to create.

Itwethey looks at the Guest, standing there on the threshold, bewildered, saddened, riddled by ambitions, delusions, false desires, misguided plans, thankful this Guest is on that sadly misshapen stoop, that stoop which is clownish, artful as the mistakes of a fool are artful, poetic, poetic as those first-scribed misprints of the sacred five-year old are what loving parent will revere and thank the Lord for.

Itwethey says, "welcome." By it is meant: precipitation will not hinder; intemperate temperatures will not wrinkle; bellies will not thunder; mind will not grumble; third eye blind will not mention all wasted by Itwethey’s hastily constructed and not-so-satisfying abode of comfort.