Umbrellas Unopent in Tempests, Part XLIX

Guest isn’t very matronly. Guest doesn’t even suggest the matronly. Arms filled with firewood, naked, legs akimbo—some of this might be thought to suggest the matronly (Especially the gathering of the firewood. Though most matrons would gather firewood if asked, none would do so naked…But where’s the line? Itwethey can picture naked matrons gathering firewood, walking along with firewood, and yet the picture resembles IN NO WAY Guest doing so.) Gathering of firewood is awkward and ugly and “utilitarian” (NB: “utilitarian” always works against the “sexy” and all us workers who worship at the shrine of a good fuck should be asking ourselves why,) twigs can’t be gathered or well managed by the arms, strategies of arm filling are worthless—any idea of gracefulness and much more important than that, of efficiency, must be abandoned. Yet Guest stands there, naked, unmatronly, arms filled with firewood, exemplary.

Guest with legs akimbo. Itwethey probably does imagine a baby popping out. Maybe not with the legs akimbo and straight, but with the legs akimbo and squatting, yes. And yet this isn’t the first thing coming to Itwethey’s mind. Itwethey only considers it now due to Itwethey thinking about the matronly, which Itwethey is thinking of now only due to thinking of human warmth. Why Itwethey would be thinking of human warmth now, Itwethey doesn’t know. Itwethey had been musing on metaphors of containment—openness and closure—and as a hopeful alternative to that mess (metaphors of metaphor) Itwethey’s thought had drifted on to warmth.

Guest is posed outside, in a yard, utilitarian in aspect (you’ve got to wonder, though, just how much Frank Gehry, that postmodern fuck, has had to do with this set up, even though Itwethey has studiously avoided, contrary to all evidence to the…contrary?, anything to do with the postmodern, especially its architectural conceits…Itwethey is focused on the “Enlightenment” and reactions to it ( though Itwethey knows the Department of Homeland Security (not a phantasm of Itwethey’s various sick imaginationings) might swoop down with felony charges of irony-ambiguoisity-postmodernity due to Itwethey being willing to put the word, the title, the entitlement, the common property, ENLIGHTENMENT, in quotations—a good universal, same as a good fuck, doesn’t belong in quotations.)

Guest, matronly and warm, and yet exceedingly fashionable and modern. This adds up to Guest not at all matronly or warm but entirely fashionable and modern. Naked, this can only mean Guest at the pelvis (where Itwethey immediately directs his attention, a camera, a camera on a track, with a most sophisticated lens, capable of this most wonderful of desire operations: “zooming in”. The pelvis is thrusted forward and this is warm, warmth, HOT, welcoming, zealous, wishful, plentiful, photogenic.) Camera.